I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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