i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
