I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
