Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
