So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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