No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize