i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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