C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
