They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You may now shotgun with the bride
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Still dying that you shit outside
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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