I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
