my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
