she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
