Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize