We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
