dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm at about main and main street
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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