there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Boobs speak an international language.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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