Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
