I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
