Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No subtext here. People are naked.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
