I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you made out with another girl for some wings
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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