and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
