Im at strip club and am horny
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
