You just made me feel so damn special
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
