why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you never un-have a 4some
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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