you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
