He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize