Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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