Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
