can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
