I think I won the penis lottery.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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