so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
