I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Come share oat with me in your robe
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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