Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
