If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
