it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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