sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
