i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
