I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
