Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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