please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize