I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
