she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
