I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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