My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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