you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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