I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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