sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
