I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
