guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
