Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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