Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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