I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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