Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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