ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
