You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
