someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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