Your tits are I can't wait for
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize