I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
