idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
