Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
