I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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