as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize