So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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