I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
