your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
