Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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