Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
