My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You were trust falling into bushes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
