I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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