Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
